{"id":51251,"date":"2017-05-03T12:24:11","date_gmt":"2017-05-03T12:24:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.nationaldrugscreening.com\/?p=51251"},"modified":"2022-11-30T13:36:46","modified_gmt":"2022-11-30T18:36:46","slug":"the-most-hilarious-failed-drug-test-excuses","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.nationaldrugscreening.com\/blogs\/the-most-hilarious-failed-drug-test-excuses\/","title":{"rendered":"The Most Hilarious Failed Drug Test Excuses"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>The&nbsp;<a href=\"\/blogs\/\">National Drug Screening blog<\/a>&nbsp;is a great resource for employers and employees to learn more about the drug testing landscape in their particular industry. While 99.9% of our content is serious and informative, we decided to take this opportunity to have a little fun. Here are some hilarious and outlandish drug test excuses that you might hear\u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em><strong>Why Did You Fail Your Test?<\/strong><\/em><br>Funny story. My dentist is a little crazy and I recently had a tooth pulled. Maybe he slipped a little something extra to help me with the pain? It definitely wasn\u2019t me, I don\u2019t use drugs!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>**Your dentist didn\u2019t give you heroin!**<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em><strong>We Are a DOT Regulated Company&#8211; You Can\u2019t Test Positive for Marijuana!<\/strong><\/em><br>I have no idea what they are talking about. I have never smoked weed in my life! I was sitting in a car a few weeks back while my friends smoked, but I didn\u2019t touch the joint. Oh, that must be it right? It\u2019s possible to fail a test for second hand smoke!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>**Possible, but highly unlikely!**<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em><strong>We Know Hair Tests Date Back Further&#8211; When Was the Last Time You Smoked Weed?<\/strong><\/em><br>We had an office Christmas Party last year and a couple of guys were passing around a blunt. I only hit it one time to fit in with the crowd I swear!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>**It\u2019s May, that excuse is not going to fly!**<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em><strong>We\u2019re Seeing That You Tested Positive for Cocaine&#8211; Why Is That?<\/strong><\/em><br>Cocaine? Who? Me? I don\u2019t even know where I would get cocaine. My mom asked me to get some sugar out of the cupboard and taste it to make sure it didn\u2019t go bad. But that is the only thing I can think of\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>**Sugar doesn\u2019t go bad, genius! And this is just an overall terrible excuse.**<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em><strong>You Seem to Have Tested Positive for Opiates, Methamphetamine and Marijuana&#8211; Care to Elaborate?<\/strong><\/em><br>Well, I probably shouldn\u2019t have used that guy\u2019s pee. He is really messed up!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>**Can\u2019t fault the honesty.**<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>We hope you enjoyed these! If you have any funny drug testing excuses to share, please do so on our&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/mrodrugtest\/\">Facebook<\/a>&nbsp;page!<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The&nbsp;National Drug Screening blog&nbsp;is a great resource for employers and employees to learn more about the drug testing landscape in their particular industry. While 99.9% of our content is serious and informative, we decided to take this opportunity to have a little fun. Here are some hilarious and outlandish drug test excuses that you might [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"none","_relevanssi_hide_post":"","_relevanssi_hide_content":"","_relevanssi_pin_for_all":"","_relevanssi_pin_keywords":"","_relevanssi_unpin_keywords":"","_relevanssi_related_keywords":"","_relevanssi_related_include_ids":"","_relevanssi_related_exclude_ids":"","_relevanssi_related_no_append":"","_relevanssi_related_not_related":"","_relevanssi_related_posts":"50935,50862,50870,51390,51391,51157","_relevanssi_noindex_reason":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nationaldrugscreening.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/51251"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nationaldrugscreening.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nationaldrugscreening.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nationaldrugscreening.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/12"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nationaldrugscreening.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=51251"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.nationaldrugscreening.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/51251\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nationaldrugscreening.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=51251"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nationaldrugscreening.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=51251"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nationaldrugscreening.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=51251"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}